Choosing the STEM strand for me was a huge mistake back then. When I first walked into our classroom, it was wrapped in silence and full of intelligent and intimidating people. I cannot even imagine being friends with them or even having a little interaction. But the moment I sat on my chair the realization slowly struck my mind that if I am not going to take this strand I would be nothing in the future.
I am Queencess Michaela Fausto, my dream was to be an Architect. In particular, architecture is just like math, and I despise math because it's confusing and drains me more than the other subject. Architecture was known for requiring a lot of problem-solving, critical thinking, in-depth analysis, computation, and measurements. However, I really want to be an Architect, but deep inside, how? How can I become an architect if I cannot do math? How can I become an architect if I am scared?
I asked for a sign from god and he gave me a lot of reasons why I should take all of these risks no matter how hard and suffocating my life could be if I end up choosing the career path that I am not good at. Nearly nine months had passed since the school year started. I can still remember the first time Sir Marlon ask me to share my opinion about the COVID-19 pandemic. I am so worried about my speech what if I stuttered in the midts of my speech in front of my classmate? Walking through the aisle, I breathe before I started reading the text, afterward, I suddenly realized that I am already done reading it and all of the people in the room were clapping their hands about the speech I delivered. I returned to my seat with a smile on my face.
Days had passed, and August slipped away into a moment of time, the orientation week is over, and here's the hell week. There was this moment when I didn't sleep for just one subject, and it was so frustrating having a teacher that expects too much from me because you were a STEM student. We are expected to exceed the bare minimum of a student. I will never forget how my Stats teacher told us that since we are STEM students, we can do anything. It breaks my heart knowing to myself that I'm just an ordinary and just being entitled as a STEM student.
We are usually being generalized by our teachers as smart, a mathematician, future engineers, and doctors but in reality, as I asked my fellow STEM students, not all of us are sure about our paths, there are a few that was still undecided, but there is one thing they are sure with, they want to be known as who they really are and not be known as the STEM student who can solve the math equations, a student who knows to balance a chemical equation or a student that is capable enough to do whatever you plan to ask to them to achieve.
I was full of hope that someday this stereotyping would end soon. I'm so sick of being referred to as the clever girl by my family, friends, teachers, and stranger that sees my I.D. that has a "STEM" word written on it. I want to be known as Queencess who enjoys playing taekwondo, doing art and crafts, loves chatting with her friends, a person who is strong, kindhearted, and lastly a person who wants to fulfill her dreams no matter how hard her life was.
In just a few months, I will no longer be in grade 11, I cannot even barely imagine that I will pass all the challenges my life has given to me 9 months ago. The one thing that I will never forget in my grade 11 journey as a STEM student is the fact that I struggled a lot to find a circle of friends, I can still remember how badly I was treated by some people, but thanks to them, they made me realize that they don't deserve me and I have to find someone that will fully accept me despite of my flaws and lacks. They shaped, helped, and supported me with their kind hearts through my ups and downs.
My senior high school life as a STEM student wouldn't be that great or perfect. It might be full of challenges, tears, sleepless nights, discouragement, and disappointment but this taught me a lesson that no matter how hard it is, I know that at the end of the day, I don't have a choice but just to go with the flow and comply all the task that I need to be accomplished. I do believe that this struggle would pay off soon with achievement and success. I do believe that STEM strand would help me to better visualize my near future.
As I end this story of mine, I would like to thank my family and friends for always loving, supporting, and helping me, and to my best friends Shannon and Jowe who is always there to comfort me when I'm crying due to failures and disappointments. Whatever I become in the near future, my experience, journey, hardships, and all the people who helped me to go through this obstacle will remain in my heart forevermore.
No comments:
Post a Comment